Why not soccer
by Pete Cunningham
*As printed June 27, 2007 in The Homer Index

As few of you probably know, the US defeated Canada in the Gold Cup on Thursday. As fewer of you probably know, the Gold Cup is an annually held soccer tournament between the U.S.’s world Cup group, CONCACAF. I’m not even going to go into how few of us, myself included, know what CONCACAF even stands for. What I am absolutely certain that most everyone who reads this article will undoubtedly know is that we the people, DO NOT CARE. 

This is not an insult, nor is it a compliment. It is merely a fact. Americans don’t care about soccer, I have accepted this, but I will never for the life of me understand why.

I for the most part understand why certain sports are popular or unpopular in certain places. When a sport is popular, such as football in America, it is very much for specific reasons such as the rich American tradition that is high school Friday night lights. This can also be said of sports that are unpopular, like football in Canada, where homecoming games non-existent. North of the border such things are thought to be as much a part of reality as Zach Morris, AC Slater and the rest of the Saved by the Bell crew. I have also gathered that none of these reasons or logic may be applied to soccer in America. All of the reasons why soccer should be popular in the U.S. have opposite effects. As if the U.S. were the twilight zone of the soccer world.

We all know why football is popular in America. Football is engrained in our blood, and it is sacrilege to even imagine our lives without it. For any Lions fan who has ever missed church for game-related reasons, we say a silent prayer that St. Peter himself is a Barry Sanders enthusiast, although Job’s plights were more similar.

Some think that soccer is not popular because it is too boring a game. Detractors often have the same to say about baseball, but everyone in America loves baseball. Those who don’t, either won’t admit it, or fled to Canada in 1812 where they took up hockey. This of course contributes to the popularity of hockey in Canada despite its waning popularity in the U.S. Hockey’s fall from grace stateside can mostly be attributed to poor labor and owner relations and a lengthy lockout, bringing us back to baseball which proved to us in 1994 that such things are not always a kiss of death. Confused? Me too.

Let’s examine the XFL where executives fell for the classic alchemist’s blunder: extreme marketing + modified rules + strippers on the sideline –  drug-testing = disaster. One would think that adding such things together would be a huge success; however, too many good things can at times make one extremely horrible thing.

The United States in contrast has formed a legitimately competitive league in Major League Soccer (MLS). Despite good marketing, groundbreaking drug policies, reasonable revenue goals, good player and ownership relations, and plenty of international stars to go along with loads of homegrown talent, the league still does not generate excitement on American soil.

The MLS, and American soccer for that matter, is a rarity in the soccer community in that there is practically no diving. Diving is in fact a major reason why many American say they don’t like soccer. This, despite the fact that we have no problem when the 300 pound Shaquille O’neal collapses after being nudged by 150 pound Allen Iverson. As long as O’neal’s feet were planted, his dive gets a free pass, while soccer players get ostracized for such actions.

The U.S.’s youth soccer programs topple those of every European country. On top of that, the advancement and level of success on the women’s side is second to none. Still, if someone asked you to name 10 American soccer players, male or female, could you do it? Unless it’s the year of the World Cup, the answer is most likely no, and there is no good reason why.

Apparently, Thursday’s game was a breath-taking match, with Canada tying the game during injury time only to have the goal negated by a poor offside call. If it weren’t for my friend calling from Canada to make an ill advised wager, I probably wouldn’t have even known any of this, and maybe caught some highlights on Sportscenter. This is coming from an avid soccer fan. Could you imagine a die hard Pistons fan not knowing the results of game 7 in the conference finals, or even making an effort to watch it? Of course not, but then again, such rules don’t apply to soccer, or anything else that enters…the twilight zone.