If a tree falls in the forest and nobody is around to hear it, does it make a sound? The old proverb which questions theories on perception and reality recently came to mind when I was reading an article about the U.S. women’s soccer team. Yes, I read an article about women’s soccer, I’m not proud of it, but sadly it’s true. While reading the article, I noticed that the team’s new World Cup jerseys are not red, nor are they white, and I noticed not a hint of blue. So, I asked myself, if the U.S. women’s soccer team doesn’t wear our national colors in the World Cup, and no one is watching, did an outrageous act actually occur?

My college psychology of perception professor would probably argue that the team was in no way committing a heinous act by rocking their new chromatic-gold uniforms. His theory on the tree proverb was that without ears or other such receptors to detect the sound waves, the “noise” from the tree would never actually exist. By that same train of thought, even though not wearing the colors of Old Glory at an international event would offend even the hippiest of flag burners, if no one actually sees it, it might as well have never happened.

My professor’s theory did not persuade me to believe a tree falling in a forest was “silent,” rather, it convinced me that the likely reason for its falling was a few too many hugs from teachers like himself. Similarly, I am convinced that the soccer team’s choice to wear the colors of the trophy they wish to acquire instead of those of the country which has afforded them the opportunity to do so, is about as acceptable as inviting Fidel Castro to be their honorary mascot.

The real blame should be placed on Nike, who has sacrificed our national identity in a vague attempt to sell chicer looking jerseys. Note to Phil Knight, although the U.S. women are consistently ranked atop the world’s elite, do not expect to make money on jersey sales. Women’s professional sports are extremely unpopular in America and running at a close second is the population’s interest in soccer, no matter what gender is doing the kicking. Combining the two and expecting to turn a profit is about as likely as it was for me to get a good grade in that psychology class. This answered yet another age-old proverb: If a student argues a well constructed yet opposing theory, and no professor listens to his argument, does he still get a good grade? No … no he does not.

Psychological theories aside, the black and white - or rather the red, white and blue - of this situation is that American teams are supposed to wear American colors, no matter how many people aren’t watching the games. If my TV remote breaks, I happen to find myself in purgatory within the next month, or whatever other situation in which I find myself watching the women’s world cup, I should be able to tell which side I’m rooting for before I solder my eyes shut. Is that too much to ask?

The last time the U.S. won the women’s World Cup, it was on home soil. Even still, the victory went relatively unnoticed until a blonde bombshell by the name of Brandi Chastain ripped off her jersey in celebration of scoring the tournament-winning goal. Eight years later and Chastain has since retired. As her former team prepares to seek another title, they will have to do so without the help of her or their national colors. Let me be the first to say, come back Brandi. Someone needs to rip those jerseys off our girls.