The race for the democratic presidential nomination has reached a new level of ridiculousness. Issues such as universal health care, national security and immigration took a backseat last week as major media pundits discussed the most paramount of issues this race has seen yet. Bowling.

Yes, bowling. The sport in which Gatorade and Powerbars are gladly substituted with beer and smokes has somehow made its way to the political forefront. While campaigning in Pennsylvania last week, presidential hopeful Barack Obama bowled a 37 and the world has pretty much flipped on its head as a result.

Let me preface my opinions on this by saying discussions of bowling have no place in the political arena. Allow me to retort my own argument by admitting how hard it would be to bring myself to vote for someone with such mediocre skills.

Is that stupid? Yes. Is that idiotic? You bet. Can I justify this? Absolutely not. I can only assume that there are others who feel the same way. Step back from the edge everybody, it’s not as bad as it looks.  

When news broke of this gaffe, I searched tirelessly for the entire video of the performance. Half of this was schadenfreude, the other disbelief. How could someone throw a ball down a lane 20 times and average less than two pins per throw? Well, he didn’t.

In classic national media fashion, the majority of outlets chose to omit the fact that Obama didn’t play the last four frames. A 37 in six frames still calls into question Obama’s man-card, but his candidacy may have been spared. A lot can happen in four frames. On the other hand, he just proved how little can happen as well.

Another interesting tidbit of the clip was when Obama asked the worker at the alley for a pair of size 11 shoes and was enthusiastically presented with a pair of 12s. The transaction was followed by an awkward pause from Obama. I’m curious to hear if his plans for education funding and a national minimum wage were at all affected by the experience. I would assume he might more seriously consider additional money for the former and less for the latter, until the everyday employee can at least provide him with shoes that fit, that is.

Interesting side note, I just spent 10 minutes of life that I’ll never get back dissecting a clip of a political candidate picking out vinyl kicks with Velcro laces. My parents are prouder by the minute.

I have vast personal experience in making rash and regrettable decisions based on limited and irrelevant information (see NCAA basketball bracket), especially bowling, and warn others of making the same mistakes. I once contemplated ending my current relationship based on an Obamaesque performance by the GF at a bowling outing. Our team lost by two pins, and she was clearly the weakest link. I was nice enough to look past it. Hopefully, she reciprocates in kind and doesn’t kick me to the curb for that embarrassing disclosure.

My point is, don’t make a decision you may regret based on a poor bowling score. There are plenty of other stupid reasons to endorse or reject Obama if you so choose. Let’s judge the man on his plan to eliminate the rich and poor divide, not the 7-10 split.